A Very Special Event

Last night I went for a walk across the street to pick these flowers for Parker. For the first time since last September, when Parker came to visit in Maryland, we were able to sit down at a "table" and have dinner together. Okay, so he was sitting on the edge of his bed, and the table is actually the nurses portable tray on wheels, and I didn't have any real dinner so I borrowed some Cheerios from the IMC kitchen.... but it was still an event.

Parker and I had dinner together!

His ability to sit up long enough to have a meal has been a long time coming, and he has worked so hard to accomplish that goal. Yesterday he had all three meals sitting at the edge of the bed. He is getting strong and coordinated enough now to get himself up (after I detach him from all apparatus), and to manage forks, spoons, napkins, tearing open sugar packets and stirring his iced tea all by himself. Imagine the freedom he must feel. :-)

Next time you brush your teeth, or put your socks on by yourself, or stir some cream into your coffee, think of Parker and how hard he has worked to be able to do these things independently again. This is huge.

I remember reading about the history of gatherings once years ago. Whatever it was I was reading discussed the evolution of how eating a meal transitioned from satisfying hunger, to protecting our young, all the way to the social event it is today. I thought of that while Parker and I sat across from each other at our make shift table, he sipping spoonfuls of cream of chicken soup, and me munching on my Cheerios. Cereal never tasted so good.

After dinner, Parker sat up (a total of 2 1/2 hours yesterday!) long enough to teach me, and let me beat him at, dominoes. It felt so normal, and reminded me of the nights he, James and I would sit around the dining room table playing Monopoly. Playing games together was a big part of our lives when we all lived in the same state, and we missed James a lot last night. Hopefully he'll be coming for a visit soon and we will all sit together at a table, sharing a meal, and playing games.

James tried to teach me Texas Hold 'Em a number of times, and once when we were in WY on New Year's Eve, he had me sit with him while he played in a tournament with "real" poker players (the kind who were old enough to smoke and drink while playing .... I think James was 16 at the time), but I never got it.

Yesterday was a great day. Parker's pain is becoming much more manageable with the new drug on board and he asked for very little Dilaudid. He has been eating a full liquid diet of soups, jello, cream of wheat, Blue Bell (!!!), yogurt and juices, and so far (KNOCK ON WOOD!) he has not thrown up.

Today is the big test day. Traditionally it has been the third day the NG tube was capped off that he would start throwing up. It took that long for things to back up from the ileus lower in his small intestine. But the good news is, his stomach is not bloated (a sign of things backing up) and there has consistently been a very small amount of residuals when they suction the NG tube. So these are all positive signs.

Hopefully the test medicine is working on the ileus as we think it is. Once that is resolved there are only a few things left for us to move past for him to leave the hospital.

Leave the hospital. Go home. Maybe then I will be able to re-examine those days, those horrific days, and I will be able to have my melt down and move on. I know its coming, I just wish I could control when it happens.

Parker and I both have a lot to think about. People ask if we will be glad to return to a normal life again, but neither of us know how to define "normal" anymore. There is much to ponder about life these days, and even more to be grateful for.