On The Road Again

Parker drove his car today, for the first time since March. It was quite a moment, bigger than when he rode his bike the first time without training wheels.

He's been having really horrible nightmares and consequently cannot sleep. This causes a serious conflict for him because, as much as he wants his life back and really does want me to go home, he is terrified of my leaving him here.

A lot of his dreams have to do with death. Others about his not being able to get to me or James or his Dad. Considering the fact that the night he first went to the hospital in the ambulance he spent two hours on his bathroom floor, unable to reach his cell phone, thinking he was dying of a heart attack, I think these thoughts are to be expected. Even so, the post trauma stuff can be debilitating.

So this morning when I got up I casually said, Hey why don't you run to HEB and get blaaa, blaa, blaa for breakfast.

You mean like, me, driving, by myself?

Yeah, don't you think it's time?

He glanced briefly out the window before answering. Yeah, it's time.

He doesn't know this, but I watched him from the window. He sat in the car for a minute, fiddling with the radio station, backed up and drove away. I could almost feel his heart singing as he drove off down the road. I knew that his window would be down, his left arm propped up, and on his face a smile I would have given anything to see.

FREEDOM!!!!!