Houston

Parker and I rented a car yesterday and drove to Houston for an appointment with a surgeon at Methodist Hospital. We are doing this so I know, when I leave in two weeks, that all bases are covered, everything has been checked and double checked, and if Parker ends up having to move to Houston, we are already set with a surgeon to take over and do the somewhat complex abdominal repair that still has to take place.

The surgeon was perfect, his specialty is complex gastrointestinal surgeries with a focus on diseases of the pancreas. He looked at the Ct Scans and reassured us the pancreas looks good. No worries. Yes, we have been assured of that here in Austin as well, but I am a Mom, and I sat next to his bed for four months, I was the one the doctors told I was losing my son. So there is no such thing as too much information.

While in Houston we drove past the neighborhood where I grew up from age 13 to 18 when I moved out. 142 Hickory Ridge, as seen above. The house is still lovely. Kind of makes your heart sing a little when you pull onto the road. We ran into the parents of my friend across the street, Denise, who married one of the Dallas Cowboys. Mr. and Mrs. Morales looked awesome. Just like I remembered, except Mr. Morales has this beautiful head of snow white hair. My mother always said he was the best looking man on the street. I bet he still is.

Houston is a HUGE city. Neither Parker nor I could wait to get out of there. So big, it goes on forever. When you are driving down by the Medical Center, which is near Rice University, although it is a lovely area it feels like a prison to us country folk. Like we couldn't wait to get out Interstate 10 to the stretch of highway where the only thing on the side of the road were cows and a few dead armadillos.

But the day was a success, we have this other surgeon and I feel much more comfortable going forward. Like there is Plan A and Plan B.

Parker returns to work tomorrow. 175 days later, 25 weeks, 5 3/4 months since he first left work because he was sick, way back in March. He goes back tomorrow for a few hours. Yes, he is apprehensive. Yes, he is excited, and grateful to have a job to return to. No, he did not sleep last night and I suspect he might not tonight either unless I can drug him. Which I probably will.

I am trying minute by minute to keep myself together and focused on the future. I knew this moment would come, when I started to let my guard down and all the horror of the past months would come flooding back. The flashbacks are terrifying, the dreams never ending, remembering things that are horrific to a mother, feelings of guilt for having to be tough when Parker felt like a trapped wild animal. So much to deal with, to process and go through before I can come out at the other end of the tunnel. Back out into the light.

Dr. Garcia told Parker that for every day he was in the hospital, it will take three days for him to fully recover and feel 100%. The surgeon yesterday told Parker he needed to get 60 more lbs. off before anyone tries to repair the abdominal wall, and he told Parker he thought he should get that done in 3 months becauswe of the mesh pushing through the skin graft. That's a lot of weight to lose in 3 months, but it will make the surgery and recovery much easier and more successful. Parker is more motivated than I have ever seen him before. I am so very proud of him.