As Parker comes off the Versed he is more and more aware of his surroundings, what has happened, how long he has been sick, and what lies ahead in the weeks and months to come. It is equally distressing to him as it is motivating.
He wants me to talk to physical therapy and find out what we, meaning he and I, can do together in between physical therapy visits to start to build his strength back up. He wants to know exactly what has to happen before he gets the NG tube out and can hold his own cup of water, rather than my holding it up with a straw for him to sip. He always wants to be sure his boss is holding his job for him, and he wants to know what he has to do, or not do, so he won't be restrained anymore.
Last night, by mistake, he pulled his feeding tube out. He is so upset with himself this morning it was sad to see, like a naughty puppy who went too long without being let out and had an accident in the house. I assured him no one was mad, John (last night's nurse) wasn't mad, I am not mad, no one is mad. He pointed to himself and said, I am mad! I broke a promise!
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