And One More Step Back

For all our optimism earlier today, we have another hurdle to overcome. They had reduced the amount of help Parker was getting from the ventilator this morning so he was intiating every breath on his own. Then, the surgeon had to go back in and clean the opening in his abdomen and put in a smaller sponge to encourage it to begin to close on it's own. To heal. That all went fine with the exception of a residual fever of 100.5 degrees for most of the day, and a little bit more fluid in his lungs.

Dr. Garcia told us this morning, He seems to be out of imminent danger, the words that made my heart sing. But then I went back about 4:pm and Parker was very agitated. He was hot to touch, breathing hard, temperature up to 102.3, blood pressure and heart rate up. Nurse Roger said they had tried to reduce the ventilator again and Parker had fought like a wild man. He said he'd never seen anyone so strong and so mad and so wild in his whole career.

Parker was able to spit out the thing in his teeth that is keeping him from biting the ventilator tube, and he clamped his teeth on it so he couldn't breath. Then he ripped one of the arm cuffs off so one hand wasn't tied down to the bed rail, and he got a hold of one of the tubes coming out of his pancreas. Roger saw it instantly and was able to get his hand undone from it before he could pull it out. All in all it was a disasterour attempt, which to be honest, I think might have been aggravated by Roger. I'm pretty sure Parker doesn't like him. Roger is the one who pounded on his chest to wake him up one day. Parker HATES to be startled awake.

I put the fan on in his room because he really, really likes the noise and likes it being cold. I turned out the lights and turned off the tv that Roger had turned on. I took his hand in mine and he gripped it really, really hard. A couple of times he started to cough or gag and his face looked like he was in agony, his stomach muscles gathered up in tight knots, right where it is laid open with the sponge. I saw one of the Critical Care Specialists who said, while his improvement since Tuesday is as much as the national debt, he is till a very, very sick young man.

I left to go shower at the League House room, and rushed back. My stomach is in knots. My knees feel weak and my heart is racing. I pray constantly, asking God to please let me know what it is we are to learn from all this ... TEACH ME .... so Parker can get well. So my child won't hurt, and won't be afraid.

Audra is his nurse tonight. She's from Lubbock, has red hair and the sweetest Southern accent. You'd think she was from Georgia. We really like her, she has a very peaceful aura. Maybe that's why she was named Audra.

John and I just went to see him. We didn't go into the room, we wanted to give him time to feel peaceful and relax. His temp is down to 101 with Tylenol, but his white cell count is up again. Not much, but enough to know it is going in the wrong direction. Audra is taking blood to have cultured to see what else might be growing. The infectious disease people have been by to see him and are adding another antibiotic, even though they don't have results from a new culture. But it is something, it is a start.

Please keep fighting Parker, we have a long way to go. I love you.