Tuesdays

I just went in to see Parker after sleeping at the Seton League House next door. It was scary to be away for the night, even though it is literally a 5 minute walk and John was sleeping in the ICU waiting room. But our favorite nurse was here, Audra, and she has a very calming effect on Parker's room.

In ICU the nurses only have 1-2 patients, depending on the need of the patient. Parker is still considered CCU and has always had one nurse to himself since he's been in here. The nurses sit at stations right outside the room, which has glass doors that slide open in a hurry if needed.

Parker has about 18 different machines going on at all times. The computer screens where the nurses sit will show different graphs like his temperature, his white cell count, his breathing, every single thing is documented and then laid out on a graph on the computer. The Critical Care Specialist showed me his white cell count graph one day. The peak day being at 44,000. That was Tuesday, April 14th. I've always been fond of Tuesdays, I'm not sure why. But now Parker went into the hospital on a Tuesday, and almost died on a Tuesday. So in my mind, there is only one way I can think of this. He will be better on Tuesday.

Being here in this situation this long makes you go a little crazy. For instance, I carry around a little tiny stuffed hamster I had sent to Parker when I was home for the five days in between hospital visits. He had laughed at it when I put it next to his bed upstairs. When they came to get him and take him to ICU, then to surgery, I grabbed it off the table and held it throughout the night. And the next day when he almost died. And that night when he heard James's voice and knew his Dad was here and I thought he might be a little better. And now, Critter goes everywhere with me. Dr. Garcia always looks at him in my hands and smiles. He's never asked about him, he must know Critter is a talisman. But that's the kind of weird thing you do in this situation.

Sorry Critter, I did NOT mean you are weird!

Parker is resting right now. Audra said they were going to give him a trial coming off the respirator about 7:am, which is in ten minutes. His temp is still slightly high (100.5, which isn't even close to what it was last Tuesday, over 104), and he has had some moments of experiencing some pain over the night, but Audra has kept on top of his pain meds throughout the night. He does have a staph infection at the site of one of the arterial lines (did I say that right?) which I know isn't uncommon, so they will change that line out soon. He is already on the antibiotic that fights that, so Audra assured me it was something to take note of but nothing to get myself worked up about. I pray she is right.

My hope for today? That Parker continues to rest as he has overnight. And of course, that he doesn't turn in the wrong direction again. He is coasting for now, and that is okay. He must be so tired.

I love you Parker.